Hi bitches, me again. Yep, it’ll be a month tomorrow since my last post – I haven’t done so in a while. Although Boris didn’t put a lockdown on publishing blog posts, let’s just pretend he did, because I have no other valid excuse as to why I haven’t written any blogs. For me, lockdown is all about doing fuck all, and that’s exactly what I did. On my shitty blog page.
Nearing the end of March, when Boris made that speech that sent thousands running into their homes, I was very close-minded about it. This isn’t like me at all. Usually, I love to embrace any opportunity that comes my way in life. I’m very open-minded, if I do say so myself. But the word ‘lockdown’ didn’t appear to me, initially, as an opportunity. It appeared to me as a lack of opportunities – I know I’m an introvert, but every human being needs to get out once in a while. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T LEGALLY LEAVE MY HOUSE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE?? The new normality was a metaphorical squishing of all the cool things I hoped to do over the Easter holidays:
- Mini golf
- A bike ride for the first time in yonks (I realise this is still legal in lockdown and yet somehow I still haven’t bothered)
- Go for afternoon tea, like the posh Surrey hoe that I am
- Go bowling, and win (lockdown or not, this is not possible, unless I’m the only one bowling)
- Visit an aquarium and get a selfie with a creepy octopus
Now, as plans to ease out of lockdown are being put together, I’m not actually as excited as I would’ve originally predicted.
Upon reflection, lockdown has actually brought me more opportunities than what I would’ve had without it. For instance, I’m currently on a 15 day Duolingo streak – a number that would’ve seemed impossible in the pre-rona times. 15 days might seem pathetic to some of you, but you’ve got to give me a pat on the back, because I’m usually very lazy and give up on completing a lesson once I’ve come across more than 2 words I can’t translate (I’m very impatient). So, there’s that – an opportunity to develop my Deutsch. There’s the decrease in pollution levels, which, as a veggie, makes me very happy. There’s the amount of money I’ve probably saved in fuel.
There’s also the development of my skillz on the trampoline. I’m currently teaching myself to back flip and then land in the splits (RIP my clitoris lol). And speaking of the splits, I’ve also improved on that, too. I’ve tried yoga again, for the first time in forever (yes, that’s a Frozen reference). I tried meditation. All that basic bitch stuff. It forced my butt to go do some marathon training. It got me learning to love education again, the voluntary kind, not the type where you have to because you’re paying 9 grand a year for it. I’m talking about teaching myself more about politics, Greek philosophy and the female reproductive organs, all that jazz, by using podcasts (something I probably never would have tried otherwise).
I think the most important activity that lockdown has encouraged me to do, is hella photography sessions with my pets. Are we surprised? No. And all the pets themselves, worldwide, are likely loving lockdown (pls give me a high five for that amazing alliteration). Dogs have never been on so many walks in their life. Cats are getting the attention they’ve been demanding their whole life. My rabbit has explored every inch of our garden. George the gerbil has used my handbag more than I have in the past few weeks (he enjoys shredding it to pieces).
Of course, there are some opportunities that have quite literally been squished, like cuddling my boyfriend (hi Jack, I know you’re reading this). I mean, seriously, how is it possible to go 8+ weeks without the most endorphin-releasing gesture that is, hugging? Obviously I have my sisters, my parents, my gerbil and the rabbit to snuggle up to, but it’s just not the same. Sorry guys.
But my limited access to hugs doesn’t matter anymore, because of all the other opportunities I’ve come across. The increased sense of a community in my street, every Thursday, 8pm has been one of the most heart-warming experiences I’ve been a part of in a long time. I’ve built and gained stronger relationships with both my family, and the people I’m not living with, via weekly zoom quizzes. I’ve learnt a lot of (useless) cool shit from those quizzes – did you know that an octopus will lay between 200,000 and 400,000 eggs in one sitting? No, neither did I. And finally, I’ve come across so many new albums to listen to and enjoy…
So, I invite you to reflect on all that you’ve learnt, developed or enjoyed in the past few weeks – even if that’s just that you watched all seasons of Money Heist in the space of 3 days – that is an achievement worth celebrating. That definitely counts. Don’t be hard on yourself just because you didn’t bake some bread, or learn a whole new language. Because, to be honest, who the fuck can learn a whole new language in a month? No one. And who needs to bake bread when you can just buy some beautiful bagels? (I’m on a roll with this alliteration thing).
And more importantly, I invite you to remember this little mistake I made, of being so close-minded: try to be open-minded in life. About everything. Whether that’s a meal your mum’s cooking that you don’t like the look of, an advert for some random book, or an email about a Uni event that you should probably attend: ‘Top 10 Mistakes To Avoid On Your Graduate Internship Application, a webinar’. What you may initially judge as useless, annoying, or trashy, may end up to be one of the most life-changing things you’ll ever know.