#21 The luxury in anti-luxury holidays

You can probably tell that this is a Redbrick rewrite (the uni newspaper), where I go from ‘how the fuck do you even put up a tent’, to ‘according to the Great Britain Tourism Survey…’.

Camping, log cabins, glamping, and any other similar anti-luxury holidays can pose some slightly unfortunate situations. The grotty shower facilities are probably teeming with cum, piss, someone’s dinner etc. Tents with holes whilst it’s raining are a thing. Eating baked beans for a week straight is not uncommon. Your air bed will probably collapse. High quality sexual intercourse is unlikely, the only thing you can expect to sleep with is a an army of spiders. And how the fuck do you even put up a tent?

Due to these unappealing features, some (e.g. me) might be surprised to find out that, according to the Great Britain Tourism Survey, in 2015, there were 4.24 million caravan trips, and 4.38 camping trips in the U.K. alone. For glamping trips, although it is still impressively high, the figure was significantly lower; 0.24 million. If you’re gonna go on an anti-luxury holiday, at least opt for the glamping option?!

To be fair, there are some more appealing aspects to these staycations, that seem to make it all worth it: camp fires, toasting marshmallows, bike rides through forests, the countryside scenery, time with friends, family or a partner, a break from the hustle and bustle of life, a social media detox, low quality sexy time (but it’s funny) and star gazing, if you’re lucky. The low prices for camping in comparison to a hotel abroad are also a huge benefit for broke asses like me, but, a surprising number of minted geezas will still choose camping over a hotel, regardless of their very fortunate financial situation.

For instance, Center Parcs is a popular staycation choice. With locations all over the country, such as Woburn, Longleat and Whinfell, you have no excuse if you haven’t already been. Accommodation ranges from their Woodland lodges (their cheapest option), to their Executive Lodges (ooo sounds fancy), to their Treehouses (their most ‘luxurious choice’). Center Parcs are popular for the multiple activities they have on offer. With scenic walks, rock climbing, water parks, arts and crafts, spa facilities and much more, you can get a well-earned break and make long-lasting memories with friends and family (aww).

I’m hungry now.

Alternatively, for an even cheaper option, the New Forest has multiple different camping stations and glamping businesses scattered across the grounds. Particularly for students on a budget, it provides people with the excellent opportunity of experiencing a holiday, without parting with too much cash. I’m no maths student, but I probably spend up to £500, for just one week abroad, when that money could get me up to 4 weeks worth of camping instead, possibly even longer if I knew how to budget.

It seems that some stupid students part with even more than £500 for a summer holiday. In 2017, the average cost per person for a 9-night holiday, was £815. Unsurprisingly, the biggest part of this figure is not the accommodation or flights, but the cost of food, drink and entertainment. Typically, holiday-goers on a budget will opt for the cheapest, most basic accommodation, which consequently has no kitchen or cooking facilities. This means that eating out at restaurants and ordering takeaways add up very quickly. When calculated accurately, it can sometimes be more cost effective to spend that extra bit of money on accommodation for cooking facilities, to then have the option to cook your own meals, and avoid the hefty bills of a fat old Nando’s and a huge sesh at a random bar.

You’re never too young for a water park at Center Parcs.

According to Student Hut, the most popular holiday destinations abroad for British students are; Amsterdam, Berlin, Zante, Tenerife and Magaluf. These statistics are likely to be partly due to their low prices, but it is clear that some students are unaware of the even bigger money save they could make, with just a simple holiday change.

So if you’re in the process of planning your summer, consider a staycation, and join the trend! You may be pleasantly surprised by how equally enjoyable, and ironically, luxurious, an anti-luxury holiday can be.

Published by georginatait6

Hello. I am a bored university student with way too much time to waste. In order to have something to whack onto my CV, I write for the uni newspaper. The articles have to be written in a formal manner, so this is my platform to rewrite my articles with the correct amount of sass that they originally deserved.

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